Mr. Darcy isn't Perfect

I've frequently heard guys lament that young women are too insistent upon holding them up to an unattainable "Mr. Darcy standard." I wonder, however, why Mr. Darcy should be considered such a formidable foe to the young men that must bear comparison with him: as I was thinking while editing a friend's Pride and Prejudice essay this week, Mr. Darcy isn't perfect. He's quite imperfect, in fact, as even the title of the book attests: who daydreams about a man characterized by things like prejudice and pride?

I think that his very imperfection, however, is ultimately a reason for Mr. Darcy's appeal, as well as Austen's insight as an author. Mr. Darcy is anything but charming at first - he is aloof and scornful, and his people skills are certainly lacking. As his first proposal manifests, his communication skills are a complete wreck. He is even susceptible to serious character flaws such as the propensity to hold grudges, as he himself confesses (his "good opinion once lost is lost forever."). But Darcy's strength lies in the fact that, as Lizzy realizes, "He improves upon closer acquaintance." As it turns out, Mr. Darcy is a good man beneath all of his seemingly-glaring flaws; it just takes a lot of work to realize the depth of his virtue. Austen has created Darcy as an authentic human character, with flaws and strengths all mixed in together. As in any real human relationship, it takes really getting to know Darcy for Lizzy to appreciate his true qualities. Genuinely getting to know someone is a difficult process, as favorable and unfavorable layers of a person's character are revealed, but it is necessary to true relationships, and as Pride and Prejudice depicts, it can be truly rewarding.

If a young man fears that he'll never live up to Mr. Darcy's apparently perfect example, he should consider that, were a girl to meet a real life Mr. Darcy, there would be occasions when she would think even him an utter failure according to the idealized "Mr. Darcy standard." When it comes to human character, perfection isn't requisite to goodness.